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…on my way to retirement

June 30, 2017

Finally… or just in time… or wonderfully early… all depends on the experience of the day!

Today I am wondering if clean break would have been a better choice.. I am ‘winding down’, taking a year to get it done.. Retiring on the extended payment plan.

Seemed like a great idea at the time.. allowing me to blend in my new non working life with my 25 year working routine. … and allowing me to take my income down a notch at a time..

…. and because I based this year of part time work on the schedule of the business and my known travel/vacation plan, my work days are hours per month, ranging from 25 to 100 hours  each month.  According to the agreement, I am able to pick the days/hours each month, and train my replacement as the year goes by.

two months in…. month one was smooth sailing… I ‘worried’ that there might not be enough hours of work for me, there were,  I ‘struggled’ with giving up parts of my work schedule that I enjoyed, I didn’t give anything up… my pay structure, outside contractor instead of employee, worked well, I had plenty of time off, working about 25 hours a week… sweet..

month two was scheduled for only 25 hours… 3 weeks of vacation, one of work… with a commitment to log on remotely a few times during the 3 weeks…  reasonable, doable.. it did include a full 7 days of cruising with no access to anything but sun and fun..

….however…back in the office, the proverbial shit hit the fan… clogged the fan, jammed the fan, sunk the fan.. and in a small firm, where I have operated as the voice of reason for 25 years… I was and am enveloped in shit…. sigh…. oh sigh.

… all will end well… mostly well, well over time, and in the meantime, I may not have to adjust my hours per month significantly to deal with the shit, but believe me when I tell you, I have adjusted my stress levels dramatically.  Actually they were adjusted for me and on me, by outside forces… and will remain at elevated levels (like summer pollen) for months ahead.

we could take some time to discuss the handling of elevated stress levels… donuts come to mind (see prior blog post)… as do positive mature methods for decreasing stress.

for today, we will leave the imprint of elevated stress levels on the page, and move the discussion of retirement forward…

I could be gone… not here, not involved, removed.  But I am not gone and thus not removed and seriously involved in the clean-up.  that is the problem with shit… it seems to come out in one piece and then settle on everything.. resisting removal, with bits tucked into odd spots… shit, I hope the odd spots of shit, don’t start to smell..

I don’t need it, I don’t want it… I chose the meandering path to full retirement and thus the results… Of course I could bolt, but I won’t bolt.. One does not step away during a shitstorm, one leans in…

plans for the weekend have been updated, office time is included, tough days lie ahead…

… at a later date, we will discuss the origin of the shit, for now… it is enough for me to vent… explode… 2nd guess… and then move forward… drawing on my personal integrity to be present, and JDI… just do it… work it through, take the experience for what it is..

one last ‘sigh’.


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