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… the mother of the bride needs a dress for the wedding….

… again.

last summer our son was married… and the dress came easy… one look on line, one trip to the local Macy’s… done… hmmm, well actually the dress was purchased in the size that fit and the size chubby cheetah wanted to be… with hope…. the hopeful dress was returned, and chubby looked quite fine in the size that fit.  (see related posts on the life of a chubby cheetah)

3 weeks after the wedding last July…. ah, another engagement!!!!! HURRAY!

and now, the wedding of our daughter coming up in October, another dress needed.

another day online, the perfect dress ordered… AND… the dreaded email… the dress is on backorder in the color I want… only for a week, but then the next week, a further delay…

crisis, disaster…

I now own the dress in another color…. the color I want is lined in the same color as the dress, the color I own, black, is lined in nude… and it looks, well it looks like a sheer black dress over a nude body… that is JUST not going to work for the mother of the bride!!!!  The style is lovely, the dress will be perfect… if the correct color comes off back order and arrives in my closet…

so, another day online, two different dresses ordered, one in the desired color, the other in the same color as last years dress… oh out with it, I want to wear gray… last year I wore navy.

the gray dress is lovely, perfect style…. I just think maybe the fabric of the skirt is not as fine as I would want it to be… it is fairly covered up…. not matronly… a beautiful dress.  the navy dress is dynamite…. maybe a little less covered up than I think I want, but certainly not like the MOB trying to look like a bridesmaid… definitely appropriate… HOT…. does have a sheer wrap!  But it is navy, same as last year…

I will call again today to check on the back order of the beaded number…. have a ‘showing of the choices’ for DD this weekend… and likely take two dresses to the wedding…. the beaded number and…. TBA….

Honestly…. I love clothes… I love buying them, wearing them… but I am happy to know that I am not a diva… whatever dress I wear will be most moderately priced, cause honestly… you only wear them once… and I will look fine…. appropriate…. and be at my lovely daughter’s wedding to celebrate, to party…. and the love in my heart will outshine any and every dress!

Now what shall I wear to the next shower, the shower after that, the welcome party, the brunch, the after brunch lunch…. and TODAY? !!!

….chubby cheetah trudges on…

Ya know, you get a few days or a week plus where everything aligns and the scale just slides down and you think…. fixed… done… going to be a cake walk… or in my case a frosting walk..

and then… slam… up against the hard reality…

you can be going along, really living a weight loss life… and somewhere the body doesn’t get the message, understand the process or respond in a timely fashion to the effort….

chubby is so improved… 43 miles last week…. still on the same dish of chocolate from MONTHS ago.. daily wine/beer fix on the only once or twice a week burner… eating all those good veggies… no pizza in weeks… and on and on and on and on

and the scale……  stuck.  It must be broken… there was this drop of almost 3 pounds in one day, an immediate correction the next day back to the prior spot.. and now the seesaw. ….up a little, down a little, up a little, down a little


so what is a cheetah to do? settle, say this is it… slip back up a little bit at a time?  give up, have a foodie weekend and give it almost all back in two days?  whine, pout, feel sorry for oneself?

oh just fuffy…. get over it, stick with it, hold on, work harder… keep that food journal…. understand…. and move forward…

ok, that is what the cheetah is doing, but it is HARD… difficult, annoying, emotionally draining, whine-able… and likely wine-able as well….

so what could be going on?  body saying, going to rest hear a moment and make sure you are really serious…?  chubby not quite as good as chubby wants you and herself to think she has been?  salt?

likely a combo of all….

today’s frustration is likely due to the heavy grain filled amish stew eaten last night… and veggie wrap for lunch… both of which were most likely highly salt filled…. and needing a little extra time to digest…

is this called putting the pedal to the metal?  is this where we see what the cheetah is actually made of? &&$$##@

so what do I know… I have lost weight… I like that.  I intend to lose some more weight.  I will.  My head is in the right place, my mind is connected to my head.  My home is filled with healthy food.

Complaining is ok, as long as one chubby cheetah does not get too invested in her complaints, and keeps her eye on the prize… her body in movement, her mouth filled with veggies… and her mind clear of useless thoughts…

and on we go… Have you even been ‘stuck’?  What have you done to move forward?

…. the uhaul

Hey U Haul… if you are scanning blogs… take a listen to this!

It seemed so easy, go online, rent the cargo van… pick it up… and move away..

the complexities had to do with us renting the van, loading it, DS picking it up and driving to the destination, unloading, picking up there, driving to his home, unloading, and then returning the van to the burbettes… a 3 day process, hundreds of miles, well organized… done deal.. (involving giving bunk beds to friends with a lake house and acquiring a table from them for DS)

until we met Orlando… well we didn’t meet Orlando… Orlando is the ‘voice’ of U Haul.. with a mail box that is full..

How do you run a business remotely in the first place… and then manage it by telephone… with a full mailbox?

the U Haul location near our home is first rate… we set up our reservation, found answers to almost al of our questions, and were set to go…. until the local U Haul site informed us they did not have a cargo van, and we would need to drive 4 miles down the road to pick up the van at another site….

That seemed reasonable, we had the location address and phone number.  Since we had a question about the drop off, we called…  the very pleasant voice answered… do you need a reservation… we have a reservation, do you want to rent a truck, we have a truck rented, we need to pick it up… clearly English was not the first language, after several rounds of frustration on both sides we were given the number of Orlando …. he runs the U Haul concession at this repair shop and will take care of you.

Right… except Orlando’s voice mail box was full… and not accepting any voice messages… which of course means he was not answering his phone either.

A call to corporate U Haul customer service answered our question. They assured us they could reach Orlando and have him clear his mail box…

Hours later, we arrived at the appointed time and place to pick up our truck.  … you have no reservation… YES, we do!  Here is the confirmation number…. much looking about for paperwork, you have no reservation… YES, we do… and we can see the truck on your lot…..

maybe you can go up or down the street to another U Haul location… NO, we can’t… you have the available cargo van, we can see it, we reserved it, we want it..

Ah, a phone call to Orlando… AND… voice mail box full…. sheeesh..

Juan then pulled out multiple cell phones and land lines and a search began for other numbers… we waited, and waited… finally the elusive Orlando was located… Orlando would walk Juan through creating the paperwork for our reservation… but NO, the computer would not let Juan do that… so the non present Orlando would do it wherever he was and email us the contract… all we wanted was the key….

and the truck…. FINALLY…  off we go now…. with hope that the transaction has been properly recorded and will end well…

I am driving the truck back to our house… only a cargo van… but for me big bulky and stiff… following DH who pulls a u turn… while me and my U Haul watch in amazement…. like DH thinks I can do that?  NOT!  somehow we get the truck home and loaded…

the next morning DS arrives with his coffee cup and energy…. and continues the saga… soon the phone rings… there is a problem with the van…. OH NO… what is the problem?

The radio station only plays Spanish speaking stations….!!!  REALLY…  DH figures it out, the antenna is broken and so the radio can only pick up very local signals…. OY!

We are now two days into the three day adventure…. truck unloaded, loaded and back to DS’s home…. all that is left is the drop off tomorrow morning… wish us well!

….. chubby cheetah and the weekend…

spoiler alert…. chubby is down another 1/4 pound!   WHEEEEE…. since chubby for an extended period of months had been playing the lose during the week, gain on the weekend, how could that happen game, this is BIG news.. And, when BIG news is creating SMALL cheetahs, it becomes the lead paragraph!

This was possibly the roughest weekend yet, due to an at home luncheon on Saturday, featuring two toddlers and thus requiring an amazing looking Costco mac and cheese… Heated to bubbling for an hour in the oven, the toddlers had 4 or 5 itty bitty noodles each and went back to ‘work’, while the adults had 4 or 5 portions each!… sigh.  But worth it!  magnificent mac and cheese…

which would have been ok,  however lunch was followed by a trip to the city and bar b q with DS and DDIL… Yumzers!  They were grilling grass fed beef with a coffee rub, fillets, burgers, a bit of chicken, and of course bacon!  Surrounded with multiple kinds of potatoes and pasta salad… there were also fruit and lettuce salads available (I mention that just for honesty in reporting, I am not saying I actually ate either of those!)… complimented with bubbles, wine and beer… and topped with the thawed after one year wedding cake topper of DS and DDIL!

ah, let’s just take a moment to note that the cake, boxed and wrapped in multiple layers of saran, was delish… likely as fresh as on JULY 12… when it was cut for the first time!  The frosting was particularly amazing… just saying..

A most fun time was had… but Sunday had to be an on plan day and hope for the best… I ate… well, but small.. and was again surprised at relatively how little food it takes to fill and fuel the cheetah!  … There was a mid afternoon green tea latte with coconut milk… possibly a favorite… to stave off starvation til dinner.  ….which was another meal out.

….Out with friends at a fun fine iconic spot, with fun fine iconic food… in big portions…Going in, I knew there could be no internal debate, chubby and cheetah duking it out in the frontal lobe of the brain during the menu reading portion of the meal…. nope, decision made in advance of arrival…. salad, no alcohol… salad, no alcohol, salad, no alcohol… sigh… the mantra was looping.. and it WORKED!  salad, no alcohol…

AND Monday morning, coming out of the weekend, the cheetah weighs less than going in!  Likely not a recipe for success on multiple weekends. and there may be some residual adjustments, you know how that goes… but overall… SUCCESS!

.. And where does that leave me?  Ready for another week…. challenged by another week, week ahead… the choices are mine… sigh.. (lot’s of sighs required!)

Because I want to do it my way, live on chocolate, cheese and bubbles…. and be healthy .. Reality is just so real… I get why toddlers throw tantrums… I may throw an internal tantrum… rage and fuss, complain and whine… but in the end, when I am worn out with the futility of the tantrum… I will step up… and step forward…

How about you?  What was your success last week?  What will you do this week?

…. what are you doing with your life?

as a wanderer in this world, I am consistently amazed at the accomplishments of my fellow travelers.. seems to me they are so much more deeply engaged in living…  living every day, every moment… living time, not wasting time..

these observations challenge me to explore more, to be more present, to take more risks… to learn more, to see more…

success is partial… candy crush saga can still grab me as a habit…. better I should meditate on the wonders of my life then on the crashing candies, better I should be looking up and out then into the screen of my cell phone.

living fully is a discipline… a habit…

and…. sigh…. as I am clearly in the last third of my life… not said morbidly, but said with reality, how will I choose to spend this time?

I am healthy, strong, curious, … I write this post to challenge you… and me… to step outside the box, to investigate life fully. to take the time that is allotted and use it … use it for good… to share, to give, to learn, to see, to be.

my mind is racing…. the ideas sparkle.. but can I, will I, should I, must I…. YES!

so for today… this old self is open … open for change, open for adventure, open to engage fully… I’ll keep you ‘posted’!

…chubby cheetah has her groove on

oh, she is rockin it…. rollin it… runnin it….  oh oh oh…. go cheetah, go cheetah….

how does that happen?  a groove can be missing for, oh, decades…. and then just show up?… I mean it is not like chubby wasn’t looking for her groove. searching.  begging.  whining.

shhh, let’s keep this fairly quiet, because the thing about grooves is that they can slip away much more quickly than they can be located…

so, let’s define groove!  bell bottoms, granny glasses and a hookah?  NO, silly… that groove was lost many many moons ago!

GROOVE.  to be on plan, to be on plan without a crazy amount of energy, to be on plan on subsequent days (in a row),

so what is on plan?

ON PLAN.  ah, likely different for each cheetah… as it should be… and likely different at different parts of the journey…(cause this sure is a journey).  Plan is usually two parts:  move more, eat less.  (such a crazy concept!)

MOVE MORE.  the thing about this is you actually have to do it.  I mean move and more  are great motivating words, but unless chubby is actually MOVING MORE, they are empty… thus leaving chubby full.  the fulfillment of the phrase is for each of us to determine, based on our abilities, and level of movement.  I move.  I typically walk about 30 miles per week.  walk.  Last week I walked 40 miles….including one two mile run.  This week I am not sure I will make 40 miles, the realities of work and rain or rain and work.  I will do my best, look for opportunities to add steps, which add up to miles… I also worked out with my trainer, she is a meanie…. but truth be told it is up to me… I can push as hard as I decide to push, work the move as deeply as I decide to work the move… and working the workout works…(oh I like how that sounds!)  And, I went to a tough hot yoga class… there are posts on that…. and survived… actually thrived…

EAT LESS. hrrrmph… moving more should make eating less unnecessary!  however it just doesn’t… eat less is about quantity… but really eat less is just as much about what cheetahs eat…. so eating less, but eating chocolate and wine will not work.  hungry cheetahs do not stay in the groove.  eat less brings in quality, variety, nutrition… also includes knowing your bodies needs.  breakfast like a king, lunch like a queen and dinner like a pauper is best for me… fuel up.. tank full … (of the good stuff) and then top it off as needed during the day.

another thing about the ‘groove’… we know it…. we fight it… we learn and relearn it over and over…. once we clear out the sugar we don’t crave it as much… sugar is addictive… as addictive as any other addictive substance…. once cleared does not a lifetime cure make… forget lifetime, once cleared does not a cure make.

phooey… or sigh… or JUST FUFFY!

so… whine ahead…  chubby is moving the needle down, around 5 pounds total…. but, and here comes the whine,  5 pounds is equal to 20 sticks of butter… that is a lot of butter… and chubby know just where the butter is stored…. however the butter storage section is ALWAYS the last section to shrink.. right?  DH has a tummy and no behind… when he loses weight, the first thing to go is the non existent behind, while the tummy holds out to the absolute end.  right?

sigh (it can be the only response to such unfairness)

chubby wants what chubby wants, what does chubby want more?  AH…. What do you want?  What will you do today to make it happen?

…. gardening

Can gardening be considered managing several pots of straggly herbs on the front porch, one jalepeno pepper plant gifted in good health from a coworker of DH… and a pot of sale tomatoes… with some green tomatoes already on the vine?

Possibly not really a garden at all…. but still… an attempt…

I mean, I started the herbs from seeds… put them in those little trays, watched them pop up… and then transplanted them into various pots… basil, sage, and .. I forgot…  the goal is to get the little pots going and then gift to friends… much as the jalepeno pepper arrived as a gift.

the difference seems to be that the jalepeno arrive looking very sturdy, upright in his little pot… actually quite perfect… while my herb pots still seem a bit straggly as though they are not sure what to do next… GROW is what they are to do next, be strong like the jalepeno pepper plant… reach for the sky…. or at least the top of the pot.  PLEASE..

Maybe the pepper got an earlier start… maybe he had more love, a better home life, fewer siblings… who knows…

And then there is the tomato, spotted at the nursery with just a few friends left… appears to be meant to live in his pot.. the pot extends into a cage sort of thing to keep the tomato from falling over… on sale… we dithered and discussed and in the end put him in the cart… to come home to our garden challenged family….

one thing for sure, he will get plenty of rain… we may need to get him a sunlamp as that is in short supply in chi town this year.  He is outside… on the deck… a good place, right?

so much responsibility… and I have not even begun to discuss the flower situation… we try to add a few perennials each year… and plant some bright annuals to give color…

one success this year is the petunias… in prior years they have been nothing more than rabbit food, this year the rabbits seem uninterested… maybe they haven’t found them yet…  I only put in a few plants.. cutting my losses, if they were eaten… they are bright rose, nearly red, striated with white… and they do love to bloom.

Over the years, we are planting more in pots, containers I believe they are called… a bit of a struggle this year as the ones on the deck railing keep flooding (due to all of the rain).  I have asked DH to poke a hole in the bottom for drainage… but he doesn’t like the idea of the pots dripping….

And then there are the weeds, the goal is to pull 100 per day… this week, I am current, hard to find 100 some days… we finished cleaning the little maple trees out of the last gutter yesterday… I really should have gotten a photo, or maybe even a video of that endeavor.  DH and I are still speaking, but it was touch and go for a bit…

well, off to weed and admire the ‘estate’!

Do you garden?


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